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I must have left my house at 8 because I always do.

My train, I'm certain, must have left the station just when it was due...

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I must have left my house at eight, because I always do. My train, I'm certain, left the station just when it was due. I must have read the morning paper going into town, and having gotten through the editorial, no doubt I must have frowned. I must have made my desk around a quarter after nine, with letters to be read, and heaps of papers waiting to be signed. I must have gone to lunch at half past twelve or so; the usual place, the usual bunch, but still on top of this I'm pretty sure it must have rained, the day before you came.

I must have lit my seventh cigarette at half past two, and at the time I never even noticed I was blue. I must have kept dragging on through the business of the day, and without really noticing, I must have shut a part of me away. At five I must have left; there's no exception to the rule, a matter of routine, I've done it ever since I finished school. The tube back home again, undoubtedly I must have read the evening paper then. Oh yes, I'm sure my life was well within its usual frame, the day before you came.

Must have opened my front door at eight o'clock or so, and stopped along the way to buy some Chinese food to go. I'm sure I had my dinner watching something on T.V. There cannot be a sitcom or a game show that I have never seen. I must have gone to bed around a quarter after ten; I sleep so much these days, I need to be in bed by then, or maybe I read a while, the latest one by Declan Gunn or something in that style. It's funny but I had no sense of living without aim, the day before you came.

And turning out the light, I must have yawned and dreamt my way through yet another night, and rattling on the roof I maybe heard the sound of rain--I love the rain--the day before you came.

The Real Tuesday Weld

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